Tuesday, December 01, 2009

studies show magnificent differences

I recently misread the word "tampon" as "lampoon," and soon stumbled to "poontang," and then all the orthographic resemblances got crazy mixed-up in a funny and inappropriate position.

This morning I decided that in all the news and research I had to read today I'd replace the word "significant" with "magnificent." Too much of the former and not enough of the latter out there, in my opinion.

Also in my opinion, writers and poets should know how to conjugate "to lay" and "to lie" correctly. And if they don't know, at least their editors at respected university presses should know. Is this so much to ask, language people?


Charmi said...

Yes, it is too much. I mean, Bob Dylan did it wrong.

Dominic Rivron said...

Does it work the other way round? The Significant Seven, Those Significant Men in their Flying Machines, Sulieman the Significant... No. Not quite.

Kass said...

Ah, the bastardization of language and the inane way we accept the dulling use of mediocre words.

Anonymous said...

I am continually amazed and tickled to see how voracious your followers are. Being in EST (the time zone not the cult) I have gottne to your blog early to see if there is a post that is without comments but not gonna happen in my lifetime.

I often think of the word poontang. I read the word lepidopterist, in the book, Netherland and wondered if it was one you would like. In terms of usage, I am continually perplexed on the use of ", at the end of a sentence where teh lasat word is in quotes. Does the punctuation always go inside the quote or is it "optional"?

Radish King said...

When I watch the telly I tend to yell at it concerning lay and lie. I've pretty much stopped watching.

James Brush said...

Lay and lie are words that set of alarm bells for me when I'm looking over my own writing. I always double check how I've used them because it's too easy to misuse them in those moments when the mind is writing faster than the fingers.

SarahJane said...

Also Eric Clapton got it wrong with what should have been "Lie Down Sally."

It's also amusing to put significant where magnificent usually is - a real dressing-down.

Bob - In American English the punctuation goes within the quotation marks. In British English it's outside, which makes my bones itch.

Anonymous said...

it must also make you itch with my spelling. I'll apologize this once and leave it assumed in the future.

(my verification word for this post is palin. it pains me to submit it.)

Ron. said...

Proper conjugation is crucial. No lie.

ron hardy said...

Unless of course someone is laying Sally down in that song.
A lye detector test as devised by the United Manufacturers of Lye:
Answer these questions to the best of your abilities. Workman's comp is at stake.

1) When preparing to play billiards or pool what is the proper powder for hands?
a)lye, b)talcum powder,
c) baking soda, d)arrowroot
2)a lye is harmful to:
a)skin b)a court oath, c)your relationship, d)birds in flight.
3)upon awakening from a mild seizure during a golf outing you find yourself with a lie. Is it, a)good, b)bad,c)white, d)petty
4)Laying on hands with lye on your hands is wrong if you,
a)lie about it,b)use the burning sensation to your advantage,c)excuse yourself,d)lay the blame on your assistant.

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