Thursday, October 15, 2009

ode to rudolf diesel

The east coast is beautiful and I can overlook traffic and superfluous strip malls but I can’t forgive the ubiquitous muzak (read: 80's innocuous pop) being pumped like gas into parking lots and shops. If we could ban smoking. If we could mandate seat belts. I come out of Pepperidge Farm and can it be that the back of the Goldfish bag says “Challenge yourself to find something GOOD in every situation?” (caps theirs) So much baloney. I think prohibiting consumer muzak would be a giant step towards improving American health care. If we could invent the air bag. If we can bomb the moon. Of course, if it happened that I -walking across the parking lot, forced to process Huey Lewis and the News- burst into gaseous flame, I might find some good in that.


Lisa said...

Does this mean you want a new drug? One that won't make you sick?

Sorry, I couldn't resist. Welcome back to the states. :)

Oh, and did you read in the Christian Science Monitor---we didn't actually "bomb" the moon. Nothing "exploded." We just battering rammed it with a craft the size of a bus and followed it with something the size of a subcompact car. That's all.

toniclark said...

I'm so with you on the muzak. I've walked immediately out of stores I've just walked into because of the loud pap/pop. And hey, what about Web sites that start playing music? I immediately hit the Back button. (How's one supposed to sneak in a clandestine Web visit while at the office when music starts blaring?)

SarahJane said...

I want a new drug that lets me breathe fire. Actually I was subjected to another Huey Lewis hit, but I can't recall which one, and don't want to spend too much time trying because I might actually remember, and couldn't stand the trauma.
Ok, so we just dropped a bunch of shit on the moon. I think that still counts as "bombing." But I'll have to look it up.
Toni, those music-chucking websites were designed to let your boss catch you surfing.

Lisa said...


It's true, "a bunch of shit," indeed. So you know, I was being facetious by saying "that's all." I just found it humorous that this particular journalist found it okay to mess with the moon, provided that we weren't "bombing" it. All in the name of water, right?

SarahJane said...

Hi Lisa -
The "that's all" gave you away. Yes, water for what?

Ron. said...

I want a new moon.
I want a moon with
craters, not bombsights;
a moon without the
left-behind LEMs,
without one big footprint
for man, one big shame
for mankind. No one
wants a moon that glitters
with litter. No one.

Kasscho said...

I once drove up to a small town northeast of here - here being Salt Lake City - small town being Morgan, Utah - to give a Christmas concert at their local Rotary Club and THE WHOLE TOWN was piped with muzak. As I stepped out of my car, I was greeted by a blaring rendition of "Blue Christmas," sung by Elvis . It was so befitting the town that I kind of loved it and worried immediately about the classical nature of the program I had planned.
(was it "I Want A New Truck" - or "I Wanna Go Back In Time"?) - no trauma intended

ron hardy said...

When I lay the goldfish on the table it's so hard to get the space between them to look like fish swimming the other way. But I try. To find something good I mean.

SarahJane said...

I want the old moon. And fish that swim in earth water.

ron hardy said...

If the new moon is invisible what is the old moon? I'm confused.

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