Sunday, October 25, 2009

Downright rude, chance of b.o.

The other day the forecast said "sunny and beautiful," and the Wednesday Addams in me who likes kohl clouds and branches swooshing in the rain would like to ask "beautiful to whom?"

The forecast for the next day said "sunny and pleasant," and I’d like to know why one day is “beautiful” and the next merely “pleasant.” The sun was at work in both cases and the predicted temperatures were only two degrees apart, so the weatherman must be choosing adjectives without much backthought. What happened to unbiased journalism? Are weathermen journalists? Should they be forcing their opinions on us? Weathermen should stick to the facts, which include "sunny," "cloudy," "xx% chance of precipitation," "temps in the mid-xxs," etc. Facts don’t include "fabulous" or "crappy."

Some late fall days have been so “unseasonably warm” that I don’t find them beautiful, but frightening. I think I’ll make that part of my forecasts. “Partly sunny and angst-ridden.” “Clear with 80% chance of neurosis.”

If I’m driving west late in the afternoon I’m not going to find full sun beautiful, but blinding. And if I put on a wool turtleneck in the chill morning only to find it’s pushing 70 degrees later in the day, that is not "pleasant," not for me, and not for anyone in my sniffing vicinity.


ron hardy said...

Only on paper are weathermen journalists. Visually, they actually make weather. Once made they can say anything they want about what they've made. Also the term "a percentage chance..." has changed reality for most of us, sending us forking into another dimension. I just saw Addams Family Values yesterday. There is a scene where Wednesday, played by Christina Ricci, forces a smile, after overexposure to musicals at camp. It is a thing of beauty. My word verification for the day is apsino. Is this a horse?

SarahJane said...

yes, they aren't journalists, but what are they? bringers of "information?"
She's great as Wednesday Addams. Wednesday was the best Addams, followed closely by Morticia.
Aspino in an Italian Alp.
i hear

ron hardy said...

I think that is an accurate description Sarah. They bear it like it means something. We have come to confuse prediction with actual disturbance. "Looks like it might" is not weather. Snow is a pejorative word in northern Ohio. The whether guys cackle when they say, "chance of snow", and cry, "good news!" when it warms up in February. This is cruel considering it is not even April yet. So people tend to live emotionally under this silly umbrella of words. I love snow. Any wet will do. Yes, in Ticino. I think. i also think we should start a dictionary of word verifications. With meanings. My next words are durst and renega. Seize them Sarah.

Dave said...

And what about that rain in your purse?

SarahJane said...

"Durst" is the German word for thirst. And Renega was my Hungarian step-aunt.

Radish King said...

Thank you. This has long been a complaint of mine. A beautiful day, nice weather today, it's going to be great outside toda means wearing three sweaters and building a gigantic fire, as far as I see it.


SarahJane said...

A teenage mortification about wearing shorts long ago turned me against warm weather. And I've never found the sun particularly kind.

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