Wednesday, October 07, 2009

bermuda triangle

Aside from narcolepsy, the only reason to stop on the highway is to use the bathroom. And the only decent highway rest stops are those with gas and restaurant emporiums. Such stops have trim, litter-free grounds and sparkling bathrooms with a middle-aged Eastern European lady who charges 50 cents per pee. I don’t begrudge the 50 cents, even per person, but I do dislike the 16 euros we end up spending on gummibears and Coke. So, although I hate them, I advocate the downgrade to the pull-off stop with picnic benches and toilets. This isn’t without its price. The company, for one, is way bad. The grounds are filthy and the bathrooms smell like a septic tank upchucked. This could be bearable if you look straight ahead and shallowly breathe. But you have to touch the door to the bathroom, the lock on the stall and you have to push the flush button (unless you are truly inconsiderate). This will compel you to wash your hands. If the faucet works you’ll have to touch it. There will be no soap in the dispenser. You’ll have to screw the dirty faucet knob back off and and then open the enormous bathroom door with the handle that all the people who haven’t washed their hands have pawed. You could use a paper towel as a glove but there won’t be any because the dispenser has been vandalized. You’ll want to wash your hands again. Before you know it you could be stuck.

3 comments:

ron hardy said...

Sarah, at many stops here in the land of unbacteria all you do is stand up from the seat, it flushes. Place hands under faucet, it sprays. Wave hands before towels, they dispense. Now all I am waiting for is the trekkie stall and entrance doors. Zip-zip. Although, one rest stop has no entrance door, just a mini-labyrinthine entrance. Almost there. Hands free. Then again people eat dirt and they say exposure builds up you immunities. Who knows?

SarahJane said...

we have similar devices, including the revolving toilet seat that is automatically cleaned after each flush. It makes this weird noise: ehhhhr ehhhr. These marvelous inventions, however, are only available at high-end department stores, and not at schmutzy highway rest stops!

bathmate said...

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