Monday, June 23, 2008

Any Major Dude

I dislike going to work because it means you have to get prepared. Besides getting dressed, which must be preceded by selecting appropriate clothes, if you are conscientious you will also need to brush your teeth and wash your face. Maybe there’s shaving; maybe there’s makeup. We’re talking time.

(I’ve promised to use at least one semicolon every day, by the way. Sometimes when I'm talking.)

What makes me feel bad are the people going to work who apparently think they’ve done okay but who have failed dismally. This morning I saw a woman whose blouse didn’t sit right. I think she must have pinned the blouse above the top button but mis-measured before fastening, making the cloth into a peephole. Looking in one direction seemed fine but when she looked in the other direction the cloth opened like the mouth of a fat slow-swimming fish. She’ll be walking around all day like that and when she gets home she’ll probably forget the pin and tear the blouse trying to get it up over her head. That’s what I do anyway. I always pull the blouse up over my head when undressing. I never unbutton it. That’s because, of the two kinds of laziness, I belong in the avoid-spending-time lazy category rather than the avoid-trouble lazy category. I’d rather climb the fence than walk around it. This made me an outcast in my family. And means I spend a lot of time waiting for people who walk around the fence. Which is why I always have a book along.

My thoughts about laziness are many, but I digress.

There are plenty of people walking failed into the morning. It’s easy to fail when you’re half asleep. The guy in white socks. The bling people. The woman in the very wrong outfit. And all the people, myself included, pitifully overdressed for what awaits them.


Talia said...

Pitifully overdressed: that's me. I'm waiting for the big stuff.

People who walk failed into the morning: college professors. Bless their hearts. They are such darned smart and talented people, yet they can barely match their clothes. ;)

SarahJane said...

At least professors are not usually trying to succeed at dressing for work... smile

Rachel said...

I feel like I've failed today at dressing for work: tan dress pants? Check. White tank top? Check. Lime green linen shirt? Oh, what was I thinking?

My only consolation is to take pleasure in the faces of those people who encounter me. The brightness of my shirt seems to momentarily stun them. They blink slowly for a few seconds, looking stupefied, then smile and walk away.

SarahJane said...

good strategy.
i have failed through gum chewing.

Lynn said...

1. I often fail. But in a sense I have comforted myself in acknowledging the idea that I work in jobs where fashion failure is like a sign of having better things to do. Or so we tell ourselves. Yeah. I'm too cool. Some of us try to look too cool to care. Depends where one works, I guess. This would not fly in the corporate world. My sister was once told her hair should not get below her shoulders. Ever.

2. I don't know where you are in Germany but I spent a few months there and have a lot of envy right now.

3. Yeah, postal submissions for ezines seem odd to me too. One editor told me that this can be for reassurance that they come from who they say they come from. So my plan to submit as Rita Dove won't fly I guess.

Bebe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bebe said...

Sorry, I posted twice.


I excel at failing to dress appropriately, I have a penchant for non-colors. I own ten pair of pants in various shades of beige, fanned out on my bed they would form a beige rainbow. Brown and olive compete for a close second. I would climb over. I too always have a book with me, often snag my khaki pants as I throw my leg over. Last week I was as far as the parking lot before I realized I had on one black and one tan shoe, thankfully I had a spare pair in my car. I rely on Chico’s and Liz Claiborne adult Gar-animals when I have to dress for success. I much enjoyed the post.


:) brenda

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