Friday, July 07, 2006

all dogs all the time

As any dog owner can tell you, once you get a dog you quickly get to know all the other neighborhood dogs and face the daily, pretty much mandatory task of chatting with their owners. You will likely never learn the owners’ names, but you will know the dogs’ names, how old they are, spayed or not spayed, if they’ve just taken a shit or not. As with children, owners downplay the negatives, but you will find out a lot about the dogs’ bad habits: who chews shoes, who begs for food, who steals food, who doesn’t obey, who digs holes in the yard and who eats other dogs’ shit. It always seems to come back to the same thing.

Nanuck (English setter) – good boy! hippie couple masters
Bruno I (American bull dog) – bad boy! harried master
Bruno II (black lab) – good boy! italo bling master
Checkie (shepherd) – good girl! nice master
Billy (spaniel) – dull boy, self-satisfied master
Idafix (terrier) – naughty boy! same master as Billy
Cheyenne (golden retriever) – hyperactive (good) girl! neurotic master
Teddie (huskie) – sweet boy! elderly master
Lucky (black lab) – good boy! mellow master
Bambi (?) – The children operating this dog think it is a girl. They are wrong.
Gina (yorkie) – nondescript girl, indifferent master
Max (yellow lab) – good boy! pleasant master
Pauline (sheepdog) – good girl! nice master


michi said...

"The children operating this dog think it is a girl. They are wrong." --

perhaps if they operate on the dog, they will be right.

:) m

lorguru said...

no mutts in your neighborhood? Mine are both mixes...a girl and boy that are both very, very naughty on walks. They are so bad that I can no longer take them to the dog park or anywhere else for that matter. My husband takes them for a run twice a day though, and they have the run of our acre yard.

SarahJane said...

Michi - haha! yes, i would appreciate it if those children would operate on Bambi...

You know, I bet a few of those dogs are mutts, but I just picked out the breed they most resemble and went with that. Ok, so now you HAVE to tell me your dogs names!

Liz said...

Hi Sarah,

Funny post :)

Well, Páidi my dog is a mutt but oh so funny...I am on a bit of a walking regime with him (but for myself) which means repeating an uphill walk which he is beginning to refuse to do!

Liz (from ITWS)

Micky said...

Thanks for the laughs:
"The children operating this dog think it is a girl. They are wrong." --

Ah, the innocence of childhood. It'll wear off.

Meanwhile, I've got a next-door neighbour who is kind enough to carry a plastic bag for his toy poodles' poop, but then before they run off for the neighbours' yards he lets them pee on my rose of sharon and irises. Grrrrr!

Ash said...

Choc Lab: Barney. Stubborn but smart. I've taught him hand signals for come, stay, lie, and sit, all of which he performs perfectly--as long as I have a treat in my hand. Otherwise, he licks his ass and empty ball-pouch. But he doesn't chew anything and he's house broken.

SarahJane said...

Walk uphill with a steak in your hand. Pàidi will follow.

when i was a kid believe it or not we had a toy poodle. owners moved and it needed a home. wasn't a bad dog though, and died when our house caught on fire. luckily from smoke inhalation and not fire itself. poor thing.

I also have a chocolate lab, Stella. She's 10 months old. true love.


lorguru said...

We adopted Harley when he was about a year and a half old. He looks like a Wolfhound/Greyhound/Lab mix. He's tall with wirey black hair (including a little whispy "beard").
Bella is about a year and a half old now, we got her from the shelter when she was a wee pup. She is a Sharpei/Boxer/Lab mix that is often mistaken for a PittBull. Both are about 60 lbs, but Harley is taller and leaner.

C. E. Chaffin said...

Thanks for linking to me.

I wanted to mention a bit Andy Rooney did long ago on 60 Minutes, and it was friggin' hilarious: How masters tend to look like their dogs!


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