Let Us Now Praise Small Apples

As the world knows I’m eating an apple a day in January. I have sought out odd sorts and gone to organic groceries and put aside my prejudice for unbruised beauty.

Alas, despite passing fancies, I have not been swayed into the fan club. The big whoop today was finding some tasty, tight apples that were petite, and it struck me that supermarkets generally carry apples the size of bocce balls. That might impress you, but taste and texture-wise is not always Eden. Anyway, I’m going to make it to month’s end, helped by downsizing. 

Meanwhile, I have been asked the describe varieties, and since I worry about falling short, I include musical equivalents. 

Topaz - Since I was looking to sample apples I hadn’t yet tried, I bought a couple of these. Also, they were small and small apples have less room to fail. This was a wonderful apple. Compact and the opposite of mealy, they kept my attention through the whole feast. High-spirited, crisp and not over-sweet. If it were a song it would be by these boys. 

Pinova - Wasn’t this one of Columbus’s ships? The Pinova was smooth and tasty, mellower than the Topaz. If I had to compare the mood and experience of this apple to a song it would be this lovely standard, though the song outshines the apple. 

Elstar - I would have stayed away from Elstar because it is ubiquitous, and because the name reminds me of the failed Ford Edsel. But I was in a bad spot and needed an apple to fulfill my resolution. First go-round I did the flick-the-flesh test and got home with a good one. Second time, too. So I changed my mind about Elstar, whose song should this pop tune. 

Jonagold - Cosmetically this was perfect. It being my first Jonagold in a while I decided to cut it rather than bite into it. The signs were good - it was wet and seemed dense; the knife met resistance and made a crunchy sound slicing through. But, though it wasn’t mealy, the flesh didn’t put up enough resistance. I ate most of it but threw a bit away, lest I choke à la Snow White. It’s like a chanson that sounds and looks good but lacks substance and loses audience interest.

Golden Delicious - A dull, one-dimensional experience, abandoned halfway through. Like this song, who on earth knows why it's so popular. 

Braeburn - Another of the ubiquitous. But from the organic shop, small and obviously not part of some mass industrial harvest, it looked demure and perky, as if it might bounce if I dropped it. It was sweet, crisp and juicy, upbeat as apples should be. Charming, and much appreciated, as this ditty.