Thursday, January 05, 2012

less usual delusions

A variation of delusions of grandeur are delusions of grammar, that is, the fixed belief that one’s language abilities are far superior than other people's, even infallible. In addition to grammar, the deluded person believes his spelling and punctuation are irreproachable. Dressing in robes or crowns is a symptom, as the patient may consider himself “the king” or “Jesus” of grammar, or chief of the grammar police. Patients obsess about perceived offenses in books, correspondence and newspapers, as well as in verbal interaction with others. This malady often leads to a complete loss of manners, as well as an obscure illness known as ‘denial of the dictionary.’

Elsewhere, closely related to delusions of persecution/paranoia are delusions of parsecution – the belief that other people – vaguely identified as "they" - are paying overly close attention to every word you say, that is, they are parsing your sentences. These parsecutory delusions often lead the sufferer to swear silence, or alternately, to use made-up words and bizarre syntactical twists to obscure the true meaning of their statements (e.g. "Withholding it stampedes, therewith spears taking tapwatery wonder," which means “Spanish agents are aggressively poisoning my tap water.”).


Kathleen said...

Looking forward to even more unusual delusions...and a fine unspoken dissection of the grammar of that.

ron hardy said...

Sarah, I think it is whereas. Not therewith, Sarah Jane.

Ron. said...

Very whereas, I believe. I belive with it, however, all the way through the though. After that it's anyone's guest.

Kass said...

I know some obsessively deluded English majors and have to admit I sit gleefully with red pen in hand to correct the books I read.

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