Monday, August 23, 2010

land raft

This raft is not a toy.
This raft is not a life-saving device.
Do not jump directly onto this raft.
If children jump directly onto this raft, they must be accompanied by an adult.
No one should be alone with this raft.
This raft should not be operated in the vicinity of teenagers.
This raft is not safe near pregnant women or people with heart conditions, known or unknown.
Do not use alcohol while operating this raft.
This raft is only operable when inflated fully.
Do not overinflate. (the raft)


ron hardy said...

This raft cannot be reproduced without the expressed written consent of...
No smoking inside this raft.
No rift-raft allowed.
All rafts must be inoperable while operating a motor vehicle.
Rafts in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are.
No hand-held rafts in the theater.
Your list is a poem that I like. Mine, an exaggeration. smile

SarahJane said...

mine is a translation of the italian instructions on my raft.
laugh. but maybe we should collaborate on a raft poem.

ron hardy said...

That is so funny Sarah. You're right. Here are some notes about this raft: These are the most oppressive set of instructions I've ever seen. They give this brooding life to the raft. Like the raft is trying to maintain control and avoid litigation by creating its own instructions. But still there would be court room drama as we look over and see the raft conferring with its lawyers. Sadly low on air, draped over a chair, showing its yellow side. "Your honor I am not a parafoil, nor am I a bed."

SarahJane said...

The raft speaks! The raft wanted to control the whole vacation, I can tell you.

Kathleen said...

You two are funny! Rift-raft.

ron hardy said...

We can call him George. Fits his personality. Do you have an old trench coat that might fit him?

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