Wednesday, April 21, 2010

What the Thunder Said

The shopper up ahead has a boatload of groceries. The shopper up ahead has forgotten the Kleenex and runs sheepishly to Aisle 5 to grab them before all his items have been tallied. He has also not weighed his bananas and has to leave the line for that. The shopper has a ketchup bottle without a price and the cashier must leave the retrieve a different one. The cashier scans the ketchup twice. By accident.

Ineptitude is one thing. More annoying is the supermarket king. He’s in line behind you. The king could be a queen, no matter – what matters is knowing that the supermarket king is the most important person in the whole world. His getting out of the store is a matter of life and death. He cannot believe the hold-up, and needs to register his astonishment, which he does mostly through incomprehensible grumbling, punctuated by heavy sighs and snorts of chagrin. Unless someone hears his lament, he will morph into a frog and not be king anymore.

Do not respond to the groaning. Do everything possible to avoid eye contact. One sign of acknowledgement and the king will inflate like the Michelin Man and you will be sucked into the negativity which passeth all understanding. . .

4 comments:

Kass said...

The opposite of your link within: "Gladsome Tidings."
Cleverly handled. Hopefully you were thinking of this post as you stood with a smile on your face in line.

Getting back at the king in this way is so much better than direct confrontation.

Bebe said...

Thank-you for the Supermarket King, and the smile that it brought this morning. Yes avoid eye contact. Wonderful. :)

Ron. said...

When I get that idiot behind me, I always pick one of my items at random (preferably one from the very back of the store), tell the cahsier that there's some mistake, that there's a sign in the aisle that says the item is a different price, ask her to please get some stock clerk to go check it out.

I also like to enter the wrong wrong PIN when I use my debit card, thus causing the need to re-swipe, which I take plenty of time doing.

I also like to do my own VERY METHODICAL bagging: All the red packaging in one bag, anything in boxes in another, etc & stopping regularly to wonder which bag get the red box...

Oh Yeah; I know how to piss off the King alright.

SarahJane said...

The worst thing about this guy is how he assumes you're on his side.
But I'm not. I'm on Ron.'s side, forgetting my pin number.

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