Thursday, February 25, 2010


In the first chapter, the author could give a general description of what an average guy would do throughout a complete day.

An average guy wouldn’t walk into a Phoenix coin shop on September 5th, request information about purchasing $154,000 in gold bullion and present his brother’s passport.

An average guy would never dare to contact a successful businessman to present him with an idea he believes in. An average guy would see a tank with a lot of nifty plants and say “why’s it so overgrown and green?”

If you’re standing next to an average guy, you’re not really scared of him. But Jesus would look just like an average guy – wouldn’t be anything special about His appearance. He’d buy light bulbs or a new screw for a hinge just like any average guy would do.

An average guy would not want to date a very bright woman. In short an average guy would be effectively destroyed by this. An average guy would be airlifted straight to the hospital.

An average guy would break you split you up would break you a million times more than a relationship with the troubled guy with the guy who’s troubled. An average guy would bash the thing’s head in with his fist to free himself.

He would make haste to the boss lady, and ask to mercifully cut out the crap that is Char Siew, and make the chicken smaller size, like how an average guy would normally have his chicken.

The best advice for an average guy would be to only wax or pluck the hair that extends way past what seems to be the normal eyebrow range.

I wondered for a long time how an average guy would cope with a world of Lovecraftian horror. An average guy would give you his limbs for submission, and the fight would be over fairly quick.


Kass said...

I can't pretend I totally understand this, but I like it. It makes me feel above average.

ron hardy said...

Average guy would be the vinaigrette on a small salad for Cthulhu. Even Jesus would have a tough time with the Titan of Terror. Did I say this is so funny? It is so funny. smile

SarahJane said...

I made this simply by googling "average guy" and "would" or "wouldn't." I thought the search would yield a lot more, but I wasn't unhappy. I thought it was interesting.

NE said...

"Average" has a negative connotation. In school, "C's" are the new "D's."

Blame Yogi (not your average bear).

Kathleen said...

Love this, though it scares me to my bones. Loved learning how you wrote it.

BJeronimo said...

Agreed, this is your average posting, which makes it extraordinary. I love your found art manner of assembling this.

But being an average guy I'm not sure that my opinion would rank very high.

SarahJane said...

Bob - you're the only guy on the internet who admits to being average.

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