Monday, January 04, 2010

museum shop

For spirituality, you can get the Mark Rothko gravelike placemats and magnetic 15th Century Buddha bookmarks. For sensuality, there’s the Egon Schiele masturbatory silk throw pillow and Henry Moore bulging salt-n-peppah shakers. The practical among us go for the William Morris Poverty-Proof Tote Bag, which eternally belches the smell of new plastic. And you can get a Tiffany scarf, the very last word in really good, bad taste. Or luggage tags picturing Hokusai’s "Great Wave," the last word in really bad, good taste. I particularly like the “Flight into Egypt” holiday cards, now 75% off. The Babylonian Carnelian multi-bead necklace that was $148 is now a bargain at $97.87 for members. Maybe you’d like to become a member? What better reasons than the deep discounts and show of deep cultivation? It’s almost embarrassing, how high class you can be. Who would have thought it possible? What a grip the museum shop has on sophisticated visitors! Some people never get past it.

8 comments:

Dave said...

Mark Rothko gravelike placemats
That sounds divine.

Kass said...

Uh, what has The Great Wave got to do with tagging your luggage? I must see these things (even though your descriptions are more than apt) - you've whetted my appetite.

BJeronimo said...

I will sometimes buy instructional books with an expectation Perhaps just a hope) that the skill will leap off the page into my body. I have more guitar instruction books and DVDs than a caterpillar has shoelaces.

I think the Rothko would as much for my sophistication as the DVD has done for my rhythm.

ron hardy said...

Once I was in a museum shop in Chicago where I bought a Christo invisible dog fence. It was the ultimate Christo joke. It was as blue as the ocean on a clear day. You just couldn't see it. But the dogs could.

SarahJane said...

Kass,
I think the Metropolitan Museum in NY sells those luggage tags. For real.

Ron - I thought dogs were color blind. Dumb me!

Marvin K. Mooney said...

Rothko makes the sky seem less interesting.

ron hardy said...

Dogs apparently can see only blue and yellow. We also see red. I guess I lucked on on this tale. smile

Ron. said...

I always go into the museum gift shop looking for those hard candy necklaces. Sometimes they have them. YUM.

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