Thursday, May 29, 2008

the ghost in you

My penpal should be a woman with marvelous handwriting. She should choose her words carefully, even if she makes them up. No one complacent because I like to hear complaining sometimes. (In my letters, I will complain.) No one too conservative or too liberal. No one closed-minded. God help her if she makes judgements she’s not qualified to make, like saying poor people are lazy, as a lazy example. Best is she’s my age and reads good books, no schlock. There should be no enjoyment of schlock whatsoever. Ok, closet schlock. She should not give away the plot. No teetotalers. Some understanding of economics is good because, like libido, economics makes the world go round. Whimsy appreciated but not frivolity. I will gladly read of her sexual exploits, even if they are in the past. Better if they are in the past. Perhaps it’s petty but in letters I appreciate good grammar and spelling. I also appreciate fine stationary. I'm very into that. She should have an active sense of humor. She must understand why Roz Chast is funny and explain it to me. Her letters should contain no text-message type abbreviations. Words were meant to be written.


Laura said...

Darn, I was so close! (It was the handwriting that killed me).

Liz said...

Sarah, a fine stance - a fitting photos...she will turn up. : )

C. E. Chaffin said...

Waagh! Boys need not apply.

Do women really like to hear of each other's sexual exploits? Men don't talk about it except in a dismissive way.

No wonder you want a woman.


Crimson Feet said...

what a refreshing read.. and the title makes it even more intriguing!!

good one!

Bebe said...


I love this, the lost art of letter writing. I love to write letters, my favorite form of writing. I have a secret penchant for trashy historical romances, which I think automatically disqualifies me. Hope you are well, I am finally coming up for air and have delusions of getting caught up in return posts, and other things I am grossly behind in.


:) brenda

SarahJane said...

my handwriting sucks, actually.
which is why i have to insist.

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