mariners, all

"Just because you're concerned about climate change doesn't mean you have to live in a yurt in outer Mongolia. You can be passionate about the environment, without strapping yourself to a whaling ship or using yourself as a human shield against bulldozers that mow down old-growth trees. All it takes are a few smart, fuss-free choices to make the change you wish to see in the world, while rejuvenating your body, home, and planet at the same time. Choosing green might even save you some green in the process. Our list is by no means exhaustive, but it's a righteous start." (from an article on live science)

I cringe at the tone of this - the assumption that being concerned about the environment is a silly extremist attitude that could embarrass you and the rest of us, for chrissakes! I think the writer struggled not to strew exclamation points all over.

And I wince at how the alliteration of “mow down old-growth trees” blows “MOLD!” in my ear, insinuating maybe it’s time those futzy old trees made way. Not to mention the word “yurt,” which says to me yoghurt --> kefir --> grunge. As if being green means living with permanent dirt under your fingernails.

I guess it’s positive that the writer is trying to make environmental protection “palatable,” but that saving the planet could in some way be “fuss-free” is such absolute bullshit it makes me want to die.

And since protecting the planet, ie saving your own ass, isn’t incentive enough for the consumer, doing a couple convenient things around the house can also “rejuvenate your body!” OK? And “save you some green.” (It’s not possible the writer used that pun, is it? Groan.)

And what does the word “righteous” reveal besides that the writer has had it with the holier-than-thou-ness of people concerned about the environment?

I ask you.