Saturday, July 01, 2006

just get me the goddamned suitcase

July comes with its beastly heat. And did you know it’s National Baked Beans Month, National Ice Cream Month, Read An Almanac Month, National Foreign Language Month, Hitchhiking Month, Cell Phone Courtesy Month, Hemochromatosis Screening Awareness Month, National Purposeful Parenting Month, Roots & Branches Month, Women’s Motorcycle Month?

Cell Phone Courtesy Month has all my support. How come some people talk even louder than normal when they’re having a private conversation (in public)? Unfortunately, I guess a lot of people can’t be expected to be courteous with their cell phones because they don’t know what courtesy is to begin with. Making you wait while they take a call for 5 minutes. Or you're buying something from THEM and they're on the phone through the whole transaction.

Here’s one I heard recently involving a petite bleached blonde of around 40: Hey Benny … yeah I’m on the subway … going by Glauburgstrasse … you coming over later? … what do you mean why … I need the suitcase … Benny you were gonna bring me the suitcase … yeah I’m leaving tomorrow, I need the suitcase … Benny you better bring it … I can’t believe this … That was the deal ... Just bring it … you bringing it? … Benny don’t screw with me … Just get me the goddamned suitcase or you’ll be sorry.

Remember phonebooths? They weren’t only for the caller’s privacy, but for the sanity of the caller’s fellow man.

thx to Outta Context for the photo.


michi said...

tell me about it. i'd go crazy without my headphones on the train in the morning!

there is this one man i see at the tram stop or at the train station every single morning during the week, and i have never, i mean NEVER, not once, seen him when he is not talking to someone on the phone. every single day. so i thought, perhaps it is for work, but no. it's about "oh it's hot here too", "ah yes, i did see X yesterday", "and what are you doing?" okay, i don't know who he is talking to of course, but honestly ...

i HATE it when people have arguments on their phones, or very private conversations.

or that woman (i'd say mid-to-late 60s) the other day: "schatzi, where are you? ... what? where? ... are you drunk again? ... i'm going to X, won't you come? ... oh please ... you are pissed again, aren't you? ... please come? please? i am on the tram, you can just get on. are you dressed? ... please? ... but please? ... " start again from "schatzi, are you drunk again ..." and then, once again. and she yelled all that into the phone, of course. wah.

lorguru said...

Oh, I want that notepad you show in the picture!!! How funny, and uh, appropriate.
Here's my little story to share (I suspect we'll all have a few!).
I'm sitting in the pdoc office awaiting my son Alp's appt, and except for this one woman, about 35 on her cell, the packed room is silent. The connection must not have been great because she is practically shouting. She is apparently in the process of trying to buy a house, and she's on with her mortgage broker, to whom she begins giving all the private information he needs for her to apply for a loan. And I mean ALL the information. She methodically spells out names (all is for her AND her husband), address, phone numbers, DOB, place of employment, Social Security numbers....and before she can finish those and become the world's most deserving identity theft victim, I finally can take no more and ask her if she can finish her call outside. Of course, she gets very pissed at my request,...and I was just trying to save her ass!

SarahJane said...

Hello? I'd like to order the Loden coat on page 43 of the fall catalog.
umm... item number AJ3251, size M
my customer number is 987-212
That's right Robert Desnos:
Expires 4/2009
Card Number 4106-895-3114
Got that? 4106-895-3114

Arlene said...

hahaha!! that shhh note is a riot, sarah.

you gals hear the most interesting conversations. and teehee, italians don't need a cell phone to talk loud -- i can hear the women chatting from three stories below about their kids, their aches-and-pains, etc. very boring stuff. no one even asking anyone what underwear they're wearing.


Micky said...


It still freaks me out when I'm walking somewhere and I here "hi!"
I always turn around thinking it's someone I know. But, of course they're on a cellphone. Dumb me. I'll go for that everytime.

Have to have one of those note pads. Do you think it'll make a difference?


Micky said...

Maybe they'll figure it out if I just write down their name, address, credit card number, date of birth and mother's maiden name and then hand it to them. Whadya think?

SarahJane said...

you're right. the italians in general are a bit loud. americans are, too, in my experience.

when they've got those earpods in and I can't see a phone, i just assume they're insane. I'm thinking of getting my husband one of those earpods because he's always walking around talking to himself and I think he's insane. And probably everyone else does too!

I think, in the case of the moron who reads his credit card number on his cell phone out loud, it's best just to go on a shopping spree at Neiman Marcus online.

KL said...

Oh My! Have you all got it right! I am constantly amazed at people on their cell phones. At the grocery I see (and hear) a woman talking to herself while she fingers the bread, she turns around and I see the contraption in her ear.

But this has to be the killer: We're in line at the same grocery, my grandchild is fussy and a little loud. The man in front of us is on the phone and has the nerve to give me a dirty look!

Oh! I'm sorry-- are we bothering you? Should we give you some privacy? Should I hold her mouth shut? (Well, at least I wanted to say something like that to him.)

(sigh) Thanks for this, Sarah.


Shelley said...

OMG, I am so completely contemplating creating some of those cards!

I only got a cellphone last year, still have a pay-as-you-go plan, and pretty much only use it to triangulate w/ my partner at the end of our workdays (we're a one car family, which takes some coordinating).

I think you're right, though, Sarah... some of these people were courtesy-free BEFORE they got cellphones... the phones are just the latest venue for their rudeness.

Meanwhile, on a happier note, I have successfully completed mission with regards to my recommended book of poetry.

Thanks again.

SarahJane said...

hey karen,
i think i know that guy. he's the one who thinks the world is his living room and what the hell are the rest of us doing here.

that's so cool you got the book! i do hope you like it.


kate5kiwis said...

that notepad is a riot ;o)
i had a funny one while waiting at heathrow customs two weeks ago (yup, can remember back that far)
some guy was going around and around in ever decreasing circles to his cell phone service provider about not being able to send text messages while he was abroad. on and on for about 45 mins. hubby and i started taking bets on how long the convo would last.
and it turned out that hubby used to teach his brother. what is it with that... we go half way around the world and STILL we bump into hubby's ex-students !!!!!

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