Coming Soon

Ok you all have to forgive that i’m just hearing about this movie but here I am all the way on the other side of the ozone. I get into Yahoo! and the lead story in news is about the release of a movie called “Snakes on a Plane.” First I think someone is pulling my leg. Maybe it’s a video game. I mean, there couldn’t really be a movie with such a lame-ass title, right? At least not one that isn’t supposed to be funny.

But there is. Leaves a lot to the imagination, no? Snakes on a Plane. Can kind of guess what that’s gonna be about. There’s still room to wonder, though, why the snakes are on a plane. Where are they going? Business or pleasure? Did they just get in the plane or did somebody plant them? Is this plurality of snakes a big plurality or a single digit of snakes? And pray tell, what type of snakes are they?

Tell me there isn’t some overpaid Hollywood drug addict with a better idea than that title. Boy I almost wish they’d make a complete sentence of it: “There are Snakes on a Plane.”
Or maybe more emphatic with “There are Snakes on this Plane.”
Or doubtful, “Snakes? On a Plane?!”
Or just your old standard Subj-Verb-Obj: “Snakes are on a Plane.”
Or add a colorful adjective, “There are Snakes on this Goddamned Plane!”

So now the question is, will I be seeing this movie? Would you?

Miles is king

Thanks to Arlene Ang (again) for putting Miles in grave danger.
My mother, god knows how, thought the shot was real. She asked how did I stay calm while he had his picture taken like that.
My mother, by the way, is the one who in the 80's sent my extremely patriotic and hospitalized grandfather a Get-Well postcard from Washington signed "Pres. Ronald Reagan." My grandfather fell for it; his pride was unspeakably hurt when the truth came out. She wasn't trying to fool him, actually. She thought he'd "get it."
And how I would get my son to eat bananas while perched on the breast of a giant gorilla I don't know.

McEwan

Yesterday I finished Ian McEwan’s Saturday, which I really enjoyed. His prose is beautiful and polished. In reading the criticism (afterwards), I understand how some take issue with his characters, viewpoint and writing style, but I ended firmly back in his camp.

I found especially interesting the plane crash the main character witnesses at the beginning that threads through the book. He wonders why it’s not immediately on the news, why reports are terse. Then there’s who’s on board. For me it was an accurate inner drama of thought-swings: dreading the worst has happened, feeling a bit buoyed that it’s not so bad, doubting news, then how you almost want your fears confirmed. That would justify your having them. A proof of guilt would justify your opinion and preserve your righteousness. A lot of the book is about that: a well-off surgeon with a day to examine himself. It’s a world itself looking at itself ready to unravel after 9-11. There are a number of allusions to The Heart of Darkness, not the least of which is the bruise left on the surgeon’s chest after a run-in with some thugs.

There were a few places were Saturday is overwritten. (One sentence especially sticks out – read the book and ask me later.) I also think the lingering over soup ingredients and furniture reflects the lifestyle and camp as much in a negative way as a laudatory. And, yes, it is in one spot the plot is especially contrived, but it can’t be any more weird/coincidental than real life. I’m letting him off the hook this time. I’ve read a number of McEwan’s books and swore him off after Amsterdam, which I found contrived enough to be ridiculous. But my mother left Saturday at my house after she visited so I figured why not. Chances are you’ll hate it.

I was surprised to find out this morning when talking to a colleague that Amsterdam(1998) won the Booker prize. Oh geez that must have been a bad year. Of the Booker prize books I’ve read, I also disliked Possession (1990). But I loved Disgrace (1999) and Oscar and Lucinda (1988). If you read Michael Ondaatje, read The Collected Works of Billy the Kid before The English Patient (1992). And my colleague recommends Banville.

Here are the Bookers of the past 30 years. I bolded the ones I've read.

2005 - John Banville, The Sea
2004 - Alan Hollinghurst, The Line of Beauty
2003 - DBC Pierre, Vernon God Little
2002 - Yann Martel, Life of Pi
2001 - Peter Carey, True History of the Kelly Gang
2000 - Margaret Atwood, The Blind Assassin
1999 - J M Coetzee, Disgrace
1998 - Ian McEwan, Amsterdam
1997 - Arundhati Roy, The God of Small Things
1996 - Graham Swift, Last Orders
1995 - Pat Barker, The Ghost Road
1994 - James Kelman, How Late It Was, How Late
1993 - Roddy Doyle, Paddy Clarke Ha Ha Ha
1992 - Michael Ondaatje, The English Patient
1992 - Barry Unsworth, Sacred Hunger
1991 - Ben Okri, The Famished Road
1990 - A S Byatt, Possession
1989 - Kazuo Ishiguro, The Remains of the Day
1988 - Peter Carey, Oscar and Lucinda
1987 - Penelope Lively, Moon Tiger
1986 - Kingsley Amis, The Old Devils
1985 - Keri Hulme, The Bone People
1984 - Anita Brookner, Hotel du Lac
1983 - J M Coetzee, Life & Times of Michael K
1982 - Thomas Keneally, Schindler's Ark
1981 - Salman Rushdie, Midnight's Children
1980 - William Golding, Rites of Passage
1979 - Penelope Fitzgerald, Offshore
1978 - Iris Murdoch, The Sea, the Sea1977 - Paul Scott, Staying On
1976 - David Storey, Saville
1975 - Ruth Prawer Jhabvala, Heat and Dust

Germany vs. Sweden

Husband, kids, friends, friends' kids are upstairs watching Germany play Sweden in the World Cup. I took browndog out for a walk and knew already when we got back that Germany was ahead 2 to 0. You couldn't miss the cheers going up from the distant yards around the park. I'm not a big soccer fan but I'm finding the whole thing somehow really WHOLESOME. Engaging and uncomplicated. Sure there are a lot of drunk fans downtown (mostly not German fans). It was funny passing by the Irish pub near my office the other day when Germany played to hear a bunch of drunk British guys singing Deutschland, Deutschland über alles, üüüüber aaaalllleeess in der Welt!

Yesterday I got an acceptance note from Yemassee for "Summer's End," which starts "Noon wounds me with its bees, its burning." I'm very glad about that. Now to withdraw it from "elsewhere." Just for the record, I also got a rejection a week or so ago from Pearl on five poems, including "Flight."

The talented Arlene Ang has photoshopped my kids. I think she'll put them up at her blog, too. Below is my daughter Lulu. Tomorrow or Monday you'll find Miles. Thanks, Arlene!

Then I find some poems I do like

Upon a Sick Child by LisaAnn Lo Basso at Stirring

To Return to What I Was Saying by Zachary Greenwald at 2River View

Fresco by Tania van Schalkwyk at Triplopia (archived)

I Have Married a Crow & The Groundskeeper by Jilly Dybka at No Tell Motel

Joseph Bradshaw’s Aviary poems at Caffeine Destiny

Betty by Jennifer Michael Hecht in H_NGM_N

adding this:
Bruce Smith's Widow with Dead Pony from the new Pedestal Magazine.

Sometimes, reading the latest literary bullshit, I feel dismay

These Pages are Full of It

impossible possum, nanoventure
your room is a clot
(ooooh!)

of women shrieking Russian verbs
arrhymthmically
(astonishing!

in admiral hours
they vanish and wait it gets worse
(noooo…nooooo, tears drool down my face!)

o thunder of clocksprings
rut into a mathematical design
(this can’t be happening!)

an adieu encrusted, tumbling
(astonishing! encore encore!)

the washing machine is on
no water in it
(oh mein gott the genius!)

Flight

My poem "Flight" placed second in the IBPC poem of the year competition, judged by Judy Kronenfeld. You can read the winning poems and commentary here.

Popa

The funny thing about the book quiz is I recommended myself a book that turned out to be fabulous: Vasko Popa’s “Homage to the Lame Wolf,” translated by Charles Simic. Popa published an anthology of Serbian folklore and it’s obvious in his poems how he’s tied to stories, the weirdness, the magic, the earthiness. He’s surreal and comic and a little scary. As Simic points out in the intro, there’s hardly any “I” in his poems.

Here’s one of my favorites:

---------------------
Seducer

One strokes the leg of a chair
Until the chair moves
And gives him a sweet sign with its leg

Another kisses a keyhole
Kisses it O how he kisses it
Until the keyhole returns his kiss

A third stands aside
Stares at the other two
Shakes shakes his head

Until it falls off
-------------------

That one is part of a grouping of poems called “Games.” Most of the poems are grouped. There’s a cycle of “White Pebble” poems, “The Little Box” poems, etc. I really recommend this book.

Pop Quiz

Which celebrity are you?

Answer the following questions and my shiny labrador Stella will tell you which celebrity you are. Who knows, you could be a rock star, a silver screen legend or even a famous stunt man!

1. What do you typically eat for breakfast?
2. How much are you willing to pay for a good haircut?
3. Name two or more movies you've seen more than twice.
4. Name three of your favorite poets and one of their poems you particularly like.
5. What's your star sign?
6. Among the following, your preferred poetry topic is:
a. nature b. love c. death d. God e. sex
7. What do you do when you're really angry?
a. lash out verbally b. resort to reason c. punch somebody d. throw things e. count to 10


Michi,
You are Marilyn Monroe, who revealed, „I used to think as I looked at the Hollywood night, ‚There must be thousands of girls sitting alone like me, dreaming of becoming a movie star. But I’m not going to worry about them. I’m dreaming the hardest.”

Micky,
You are Diane Keaton, who, as the charming Annie Hall, said “La-dee-dah, la-dee-dah,” when she couldn’t think of anything else to say.

Arlene,
You are the cult figure Christopher Walken who said, „I don’t need to be made to look evil. I can do that all on my own.”

Kate,
It turns out that in your last life you were Lana Turner, who said, „I planned on having one husband and seven children, but it turned out the other way around.“

Nate,
You are Frida Kahlo, who said, "I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim, and now I am overwhelmed by this decent and good feeling.”

Laurel,
You are Marlene Dietrich, who said, "I never faint because I am not sure that I will fall gracefully and I never use smelling salts because they puff up the eyes."

Rachel,
You are blues singer Janis Joplin. "If I hold back," she said, "I'm no good. I'm no good. I'd rather be good sometimes, than holding back all the time."

Sharon,
You are Steve McQueen, who said, "I don't believe in that phony hero stuff."

Carl,
You are the singer Isaac Hayes. "I'd been hearing things in my head for a long time, but I'd been restricted," Hayes said.

Sara,
You are singing legend Nina Simone, who said, "I would like a man now who is rich, and who can give me a boat-a sailboat. I want to own it and let him pay for it. My first love is the sea and water, not music. Music is second."

Lauren,
You're American heartthrob Judy Garland, who said "Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else."

Pamela,
You're the gangster heronine Bonnie Parker, who said, "Tell them I don't smoke cigars."

KL,
You are the graceful Fred Astaire, who said “I am bit sending messages with my feet. All I ever wanted was not to come up empty. I did it for the dough and the old applause.”

i've looked at clouds

I read this poem the other day in a journal and really enjoyed it. I have to admit, being a fan of short poems, I leafed past this one a couple times before I decided to read it, and, in fact, the title wasn’t much of a draw. How many poems are there about clouds? Many of them dull? But this one develops with surprises and those little revelations that speak in poetry. The poet, Tom C. Hunley, gave me permission to reprint it. If you like it, check out his site, which has a bunch of terrific original and humorous poems.

None of Them Wanted to be a Cloud
- - a line from Lorca’s “Ode for Walt Whitman”

I wanted to be a cloud. Clouds are going places.
Clouds are never voted most likely to succeed,
but they’re always the most likely to surprise,
which is a kind of success, if that is the goal.
Only a fool would write “Don’t ever change”
in a cloud’s high school yearbook.
A cloud knows what it’s like to be white
and what it is like to be black.
A clouds knows what it is to live as a man,
what it is like to live as a woman,
what it is like to take the form of a dog
with only three legs, the form of a beheaded octopus,
its legs stretched and then pulled apart.

Clouds are not lonely, William Wordsworth.
For I have seen them travel in crowds.
They have reminded me of sheep.
I’ve seen a sunburned cloud. Its suffereing
filled the sky with such beauty!
Clouds are the sky’s chameleon poets.
I have seen clouds weep, unashamed.
They cover a multitude of sins, and when
they’re full of all they’ve seen, they burst.
When clouds part, good things happen:
a streak of sunlight dividing the sky
into two delicious pieces of blueberry pie,
a Jacob’s ladder, a holy dove,
a sign from up above that says
We’re having a party and everyone’s invited.

Clouds have such lovely, comforting names,
cirrus, nimbus, stratus, cumulus,
bestowed by the Quaker chemist Luke Howard (1772-1864).
But you can’t count on clouds.
You don’t know how they’ll vote.
Whether they’ll dissipate before election day,
float far away from the polling places,
or what winds they’ll let themselves be steered by.
You can’t shop for a cloud.
A cloud’s trouser size differs from day to day.
You can’t bring a cloud in for show-and-tell.
You can’t give a cloud a proper burial.
You can’t afford to let a cloud enter your door.
It will camp out over your head.
It will eat your memories.
It will affect your judgment.
It will cruelly enact what is happening
little by little, to each of us.

by tom c. hunley

Monday arrives

And Everywhere I Look, Success

Congratulations Monday!
Congratualtions veins and arteries!
Congratulations television!
Congratuations Italy, Australia and Mexico!
Congratulations eyelids!
Congratulations river!
Congratulations Starbucks!
Congratulations magazines!
Congratulations paper!
Congratulations spider!
Congratulations Fidelity mutual fund!
Congratulations doctors and nurses!
Congratulations hairspray!
Congratualtions 7.25 pm!
Congratulations Upanishads!
Congratulations barking dog!
Congratulations top 25 novels of the century!

Margin

The new issue of Margin is up, including a reprint of my poem "Grassland." This is a wonderful journal if you enjoy magical realism - go browsing.

Chengdu

It's funny that no one chooses Chengdu. There's nothing shabby about it. It’s humid and the food is spicy. Across from this incense-thick Taoist monastery, I once ate something I could not identify. As far as a companion and I could make out, it was a dish of horse tendons. Transparent. Apologies to the vegetarians. The people of Sichuan were very friendly. A woman walked through a public garden in the early mornings, ladling night soil on the bushes. It was weird and wonderful. I loved all unamerica.

Which poetry book should you be reading

Ok, now I am going to offer you something useful. After taking a bunch of quizzes on people’s blogs only to find out I am an over-the-top Christmas sweater, 63% weird, a classic Coca-cola, etc, I have made up my own quiz. Answer the following questions and I will recommend a book of poetry for you to read.

1. You’re expecting a baby girl. Which of these names would you choose for her?
a. Lilian b. Abagail c. Siena d. Cody e. Deborah f. Maria

2. Beatles or Stones?

3. Which of the following would be your choice of pet?
a. Beagle b. Siamese cat c. Mynah bird d. Seahorse

4. If you could change careers, what would you like to be?

5. Which of these mostly closely matches your present mood?
a. distant b. volatile c. content d. exuberant
e. preoccupied f. melancholy g. dissatisfied

6. Which city would you like to spend a year in?
a. Amsterdam b. La Paz c. Athens d. Chengdu e. Paris f. Honolulu

7. Name three of your favorite words.

* - * - * - * - * - * - * - * -* - * - * - * - * - * - * -
Rus,
You are a sensual person who desires closeness and understanding. You have a sense of humor but don't like funny business or too much kidding. Your reading prescription is Adelia Prado's "The Alphabet in the Park."

Carl,
You have a slight fear of closeness. You take life seriously and enjoy a touch of humor to take the edge off things. You'll take wit over hilarity and plain over fancy. Your reading prescription is David Ignatow's "Against the Evidence." Here's a poem of his from 1972.

Pamela,
You value tradition and straight-forwardness. In others, you look for empathy and humaneness. Despite the desire for clarity, you have some inclination to the mystic. Your poetry book is Marie Howe's "What the Living do."

Jessy,
Given the choice, you would be a night owl but you're just as at home in broad daylight. Under a layer of worldliness is a sensitivity many don't appreciate. You are astute and discerning. Your book is Robin Becker's "All-American Girl."

Lauren,
You are patient and disciplined, which helps you handle anxiety. You have an appreciation of beauty in both the sublime and the sensual, and you like to linger there. Your book of poems is Jane Kenyon's "Otherwise."

Micky,
You don’t mind not always being in step with the rest of the world. The opinions of others are relatively unimportant to you when making a decision, but you’ll go out of your way not to hurt someone’s feelings. You have strong powers of concentration. Your book is Agha Shahid Ali’s “The Half-Inch Himalayas.”

Kate,
Although an upfront kind of person, you do have some doubts you don’t tell anyone about. You were born under a good star and are considered by most to deserve the good luck you’ve had in life. Your book is Pablo Neruda’s “100 Love Sonnets.”

Michi,
If people only knew about those soft spots you’ve got under the mask of the quotidian! You don’t always work well with tension. Your curiosity and openness to new things have helped and will help you in life. Your friends appreciate your warmth. Your poetry prescription is Diane Wakoski’s “Emerald Ice.”

Rachel,
You have the gift of great resilience. You’ve been around the block but not without your principles. You have never been the type to laugh when someone falls down, unless you didn’t like them already. Sometimes you find you need help in the enthusiasm department. Your book is Brenda Shaughnessy’s “Interior with Sudden Joy.”

Arlene,
You are basically a stable person but have recently gone through a somewhat schizophrenic period. You are exactly 89.341% weird (if you had been an actual librarian the score would have been higher). You need a bit of grounding now, and nouns more than adjectives. Your prescription is Bob Hicok's "The Legend of Light."

Sharon,
Your book was hard to find. Stella asks “are you sometimes wearing a mask?” Sometimes you feel like you need a good stiff drink, but really you need spiritual food, and a little more earth under your fingernails. Your book prescription is Gloria Fuertes’ “Off the Map.” You can read three of her poems here.

Kate’s husband,
Sometimes you feel like breaking loose, a feeling that can leave you exhausted. You need to take better care of yourself. You would have made a good professional dancer. The tomcat is your patron saint. Your book is Russell Edson’s classic “The Tunnel.”

Nate,
The past year has filled you with a new ambition. Sometimes you are too nice to people – you should let them know your limits, especially those who try your patience. A little travel –alone- would do you good. Stay away from prescription drugs. The book for you is Joshua Beckmann’s “Things are Happening.”

Blue,
Determination is your strong point - only in love have you sometimes beat around the bush. You are steadfast and resilient. Remember that forgiveness is key to peace of mind – on both ends. Stay away from technology stocks. Your book is Alan Michael Parker’s “Love Song with Motor Vehicles.”

Nate’s Friend,
You’re a down-to-earth person who doesn’t like artifice. You can be mercurial but are a reliable friend. You can’t have your cake and eat it, too. Your poetry book prescription is Micheal Ondaajte’s “The Collected Works of Billy the Kid.”

Jilly,
Your strong points are loyalty and curiosity. Fate has been good to you, although it’s given you very little psychic ability. If you let your newest project sit a spell, it could turn out radically different, and better. Your book in Kay Ryan’s “Elephant Rocks.”

Paula,
You are generally upbeat but there's always room in your imagination for something somber. You are attracted to myth and color. It’s all in how you stir the soup. Your book is Gabrielle Calvocoressi’s “The Last Time I Saw Amelia Earheart.”

Hedgie,
You appreciate nature and relish the occasional indulgence in luxury. There is a good night’s sleep in the offing. Go with your instinct and set yourself free. Your poetry book is Patrick Philip’s “Chattahoochee.”

Pris,
You prefer the questioner to the authoritative voice. Beauty, even violent beauty, brings you solace. Remember the Yiddish proverb – “Bygone troubles are a pleasure to talk about.” Your book is Pier Giorgio di Cicco’s “Living in Paradise.”

Michael,
In some ways you’re a true stoic. You like a direct statement more than a teasing meander. Some of the prejudices you’ve developed in reading are worth having, but don’t let them imprison you. Your book is “Forty-four Ambitions for the Piano” by Lola Haskins.

KL,
You have perhaps spent too much time smoldering. Go with your gut, darling - it’s that simple. Your book is “The Random House Book of 20th Century French Poetry,” edited by Paul Auster.

Robin,
You are drawn to the visual and have enviable gifts. Get in touch with your inner Chinese. Your book is the anthology from Copper Canyon Press “The Book of Tongues.”

Nate’s wife,
You have a number of attractive quirks. Few high-powered executives have mynah birds, so you may have to choose (go for the mynah!). Keep in mind what many an Italian grandmother would tell you: “To a quick question, give a slow answer.” Your poetry book is Laura Kasischke’s “Gardening in the Dark.”

Tom,
Whenever you are near an aquarium, you experience a familial affinity to the fish. Converse more with your partner. Don’t forget God gives every crazy bird a worm, but He won’t drop it in the nest. Your book is Martin Espada’s “City of Coughing and Dead Radiators.”

Toni,
You are not the type to lie on your resumé. You like voices than have an oracular character – even the ocean once spoke to you! Your book is "Songs of the Simple Truth" by Julia de Burgos.

Gene,
Sometimes you frighten children. Your element is dionysian. There is a book calling your name and it is David St. John’s “Study for the World’s Body.”

Sara,
You would have been right at home in the wild west, had you been born a man. Avoid unnecessary travel. It’s time to switch from consonants to vowels. Your poetry book is “Lorca & Jimenez,” translated by Robert Bly.

Laurel,
As they say, it's never too late. You’re drawn to the passionate and shun the mediocre. You’re family oriented. Among the animal signs, yours is the marsupial, and your patron saint is Noah Webster. The book for you is Tomaz Salamun’s "Four Questions of Melancholy."

Raj,
You are seeking balance in life. Your approach is rational but you have a mystical leaning. You would not make a good hedonist. Your book is Wislawa Szymborska's "View with a Grain of Sand."

Jeff,
You strive to keep your house in order but don't always succeed. Women find you very attractive, but you've never been the type to take advantage of people. Your book is Norman Dubie's "The Mercy Seat."

Shelley,
You're drawn to the odd but have a firm grounding in reality. You are polite and disciplined (enough), which can help you achieve your goals. Even so, don't neglect the spontaneous impulse. Your book is Peter Pereira's "Saying the World."

Eleven,
You have a hard exterior but there is a secret marshmellow inside you. You laugh at your own jokes, but not alone. Remember what someone's Chinese grandmother said - "When the cup is full, carry it even." Your book is Marie Howe's "What the Living Do."

enough

hey, not to be morbid or pessimistic, but doesn't it seem sometimes like there can't be too many people in Iraq left to die? i mean, for chrissakes already.

Out of Order

Out of Order

Apparently, the rat poison.
My slumber button. The mafia.
Low-alcohol beer.

My darling’s instrument.
Without question, the weather.
Southern California.

The elm’s own plastic bag.
Certain starlets. Bagpipes.
This freaking phone booth.

rejecto

Got a rejection from Coconut. Oh well. I still love Coconut. Some of the poems are plain clever and not suited to the size or shape of my brain, but most of it is wonderful and refreshing, especially issue #2.
Submitted: May 14 Reply: May 23

"Dear Sarah,

I'm sorry to pass on these poems--we've been receiving tons of great work. Thank you, however, for thinking of us and sharing your poetry--I'll hope you'll keep reading Coconut. All best wishes for your writing and submissions.

Bruce Covey
Coconut Editor"

The End of May is Nigh

Did you know...

May is . . . . Better Sleep Month, National Good Car Care Month, National Photo Month, National Salad Month, National Egg Month, National Barbecue Month, Revise Your Work Schedule Month, Date Your Mate Month, National Hamburger Month, and Fungal Infection Awareness Month...

I confess I haven't been aware enough of fungal infections this month.
I await even bigger surprises in June.

thanks to s.ward for the photo

Chapter X, in which our hero overcomes all obstacles with hardly any hoopla at all

Well, what’s there to say today except “Happy birthday, Bob.”

My favorite bob dylan songs (today) are:

1. Idiot Wind (from the Bootleg series, not the "Blood on the Tracks" one, though that’s good, too) Idiot wind, blowing through the buttons of our coats,/Blowing through the letters that we wrote/Idiot wind, blowing through the dust upon our shelves/We're idiots babe,/It's a wonder we can even feed ourselves.

2. You’re a Big Girl, Now (but from “Biography,” not from “Blood on the Tracks” but hey I really do love “Blood on the Tracks”)

3. Meet Me in the Morning (from "Blood on the Tracks!"): Meet me in the morning, 56th and Wabasha

4. New Pony: I got a new pony, she knows how to fox-trot, lope and pace/She got great big hind legs/And long black shaggy hair above her face

5. Tomorrow is a Long Time: If today was not an endless highway,/If tonight was not a crooked trail,/If tomorrow wasn't such a long time,/Then lonesome would mean nothing to you at all.

6. I Dreamed I Saw St. Augustine: I dreamed I saw St. Augustine,/Alive with fiery breath,/And I dreamed I was amongst the ones/That put him out to death.

7. Maggie’s Farm: I wake in the morning,/Fold my hands and pray for rain./I got a head full of ideas/That are drivin' me insane./It's a shame the way she makes me scrub the floor.

8. Visions of Johanna: The harmonicas play the skeleton keys and the rain

9. Like a Rolling Stone: You thought they were all a-kiddin' you!

10. When I Paint My Masterpiece: Got to hurry back on to my hotel room,/where I got me a date with Botticelli’s niece

11. I’ll Keep it with Mine: Sorry, it would be really unfair of me not to slip this one in. C'mon, give it to me, I'll keep it with mine.

I stole the photo, by the way, from www.slopbucket.com, where you can make sure you know the words.

pluvial

Can you believe it's still raining? it's gorgeous. like grey fur. so i won't have to mow the lawn today. and i probably, as long as this keeps up, won't have to be a soccer mom. lawd!

It did manage to stop raining for a couple hours yesterday. i took the kids to the zoo. I love the zoo. My favorite are the seals, but also the orangutans, chimps, bird sorts, the tarantula and turtles. We also saw some ponies. One had such a large penis that a crowd of children drew around it. luckily there was a fence. I mean, this was the petting zoo section! Of course I was asked to explain this phenomenon. And of course I said the pony must have laid down on something sticky that other things kept getting stuck to until the tubular formation was achieved. just kidding. the kids were molto impressed. there was such a hullabaloo i dropped the camera.

I recognized a lot of names at the zoo. That is, a lot of Germans have animal last names. There's -
Mr. Bear (Baer)
Mr. Brown Horse (Brauner)
Mr. Black Horse (Rappe)
Mr. Dog (Hund)
Mr. Hedgehog (Igel)
Mr. Mouse (Maus)
Mr. Rabbit (Hase)
Mr. Lion (Loewe)
Mr. Sheep (Schaf)
Mr. Stork (Storch)
Mr. Bird (Vogel)
Mr. Fox (Fuchs)
Mr. Mountain Goat (Steinbock)
Mr. White Horse (Schimmel)
Mr. Sparrow (Spatz)
Mr. Frog (Frosch)

They're all in the phone book. And that's not all. Ok, we've got Larry Bird and Sheryl Crow and Redd Foxx. But are there others? No!

Actually Germans can have pretty wonderful names. One of my favorites is Mr. Holzapfel (wooden apple). Also read about a Frau Wintermantel (winter coat) the other day. And the guy who works at the Foreigner Registry is named Mr. Sorgenfrei (Mr. Carefree). My colleague says that must be a Jewish name. And I said it's a pretty crap name for a German Jew.

something that occurred to me this morning

me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me ME me me ME me me me me me me me me ME me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me ME me me me me ME me me me me me me me ME me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me ME me me me me me me ME me me me me ME me me ME me me me me me me ME me me me me ME me me me me me me

rain

supposed to rain here all week. i like that. keeps things cool. keeps things quiet. keeps me from feeling i should make something more of it. or mow the lawn. or maw the loan. or maul the now. or own the moan. or lay low in high places.

photo j.burhans

finally, that tag

So I finally got around to doing the book tag from Michi. I do believe the books you've read, aim to read, gave up on and plan to leave alone say a lot about you. Better than taking a subjective personality test, which folks should allow a new acquaintance to answer for them.

So, here goes. I grouped my books at the top because I felt like that.
I also added a new notation: the * asterisk is for books begun and never finished.
The other notations are:
Bold for books you've read
Italics for books you want to read
(Parentheses for books you've never heard of)
Strike-through for books you will not read ever
Underline the ones on your shelf
No notation at all denotes neutrality

This list was getting pretty unwieldy. So, to cut down the potential boredom factor, I trimmed a few titles at random.


Independence Day – Richard Ford
Pastoralia – George Saunders
Middlemarch – George Eliot
Parallel Universes – Roz Chast
Bastard out of Carolina – Dorothy Allison
The Drowned and the Saved – Primo Levi
The Seven Storey Mountain – Thomas Merton
Excellent Cadavers – Alexander Steele
Hitler’s Pope – John Cornwell
No Direction Home: The Life and Music of Bob Dylan – Robert Shelton
Pilgrim at Tinker Creek – Annie Dillard


The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
The Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy--Douglas Adams
The Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald
To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
The Time Traveler's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
(His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman)
The Life of Pi - Yann Martel*

Animal Farm - George Orwell
Catch 22 - Joseph Heller*
The Hobbit - J.R.R. Tolkien
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
Lord of the Flies - William Golding
Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
1984 - George Orwell*
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban-J.K. Rowling

One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
Slaughterhouse 5 - Kurt Vonnegut
The Secret History - Donna Tartt
Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe - C.S. Lewis
Middlesex - Jeffrey Eugenides
(Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell)
Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
Atonement - Ian McEwan
(The Shadow of The Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon)
The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
Dune - Frank Herbert
Sula by Toni Morrison
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
White Teeth by Zadie Smith
The House of Mirth by Edith Wharton
The God of Small Things - Arundhati Roy
Brighton Rock - Graham Greene
Disgrace - JM Coetzee
Never Let Me Go - Kazuo Ishiguro
(The Buddha of Suburbia - Hanif Kureishi)
Titus Groan - Mervyn Peake

Ivanhoe - Walter Scott
Patrick Suskind - Perfume
Bernand Shlink - The Reader*
(Father and Son - Larry Brown)
She's Come Undone - Wally Lamb
Postcards - E. Annie Proulx
A Good Scent from a Strange Mountain (stories) - Robert Olen Butler
(Defiance - Carole Maso)
(Being Dead - Jim Crace)
(And Our Faces, My Heart, Brief as Photos, by John Berger)
Holy the Firm, Annie Dillard

Ragtime by E.L. Doctorow*
The House of Sand and Fog by Andre Dubus
The Last of the Just by Andre Schwartz-Bart*
Housekeeping by Marilynne Robinson
Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
The Red Tent by Anita Diamant
A Bell for Adano by John Hersey
The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
Herzog by Saul Bellow

War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy*
One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
Little Women - Louisa May Alcott*
Anton Chekhov's Short Stories - Anton Chekhov
Roughing It - Mark Twain
A Wizard of Earthsea - Ursula K. LeGuin
(The Mistress of Spices - Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni)
The Brothers Karamazov - Fyodor Dostoyesvki*
Grendel - John Gardner
A River Runs Through It and other stories - Norman Maclean
(The Worst Journey in the World - Apsley Cherry-Garrard)

The little prince - antoine de saint-exupéry
Lolita - vladimir nabokov*
Making Love - marius brill
(Metamagical themas - douglas hofstadter)
(Neverwhere - neil gaiman)
A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving
Kassandra - Christa Wolf
Alice in Wonderland
Women who Run with Wolves - Clarissa Pinkola Estes
Mother Tongue - Bill Bryson
View with a Grain of Sand - wislawa szymborska

There was a Sound like a Mocassin Dropping

Finished the 30 days/30 poems forum today. Hooray.
These were my poems from the second half:

30. Opportunity Knocked (“There was a sound like a moccasin dropping…”)
29. Paradise Found (“Paradise comes straight-up…”)
28. Index to the New Crocker Cookbook (“All the Pizza”)
27. Cape (“The wind is my little cape…”)
26. DJIA (“Monday mornings the market’s always antsy…)
25. Feng Shui (“When the bridge between east and west…”)
24. Some Mornings (“What will it be then, Sunday at six?”)
23. Your World, Lord (“Your stories, Lord.”)
22. In and Out of Character (“It was Tuesday noon…”)
21. Intimates (“Sparrows, all my sympathies.”)
20. The Monarchs (“A kingdom is coming…”)
19. George (“George came from a town…”)
18. Keeping my Cool (“They hoist an outrage to the brim …”)
17. Things my Sister Taught me (“Without factories, there’d be no clouds.”)
16. Bitten (“My thoughts now include the kisses of wild animals…”)

Some of them were real dogs. Most of them were real dogs. But a couple might make it.

My co-poets and poetesses turned out some memorable stuff. Among my favorites: Sharon Hurlbut’s “Post-it Notes From Jesus;” John Vick’s “Ode to a Coin-Operated Washing Machine;” Anne Higgins’ “Write from the Number Six;” Lisa Prince’s “To a Blonde-Haired Girl;” Keith Bris’ “Combat Medic;” David Krilivsky’s “Routine;” Susan Culver’s “Kenny at the Bus Stop;” and Lauren Finaldi’s “First Jobs.”

I do plan to do it again, maybe in mid-June. For now, I have some poems that need more attention.

bitches and jackasses

Boy was I annoyed yesterday.
Bit of a fit, really. A tiff. A tizzy.

I’m sure you know:
There’s temper, then there’s rancor.
There’s cross, then there’s apoplectic.
There’s mad, and there’s damned mad.
There’s also bristling, which you feel
in your hair, especially in the eyelashes.

But if you’re lucky, you have a dog.
Mine had been sick and listless.
She didn’t even want her bone.
But when I got home, she gave me
the full-body wag. I got the slobber
tug-o-war toy pressed into my hand.

I’m sure you’ve been there:
Relieved, then delighted.
Glad, then damned glad.
Home from work, evening before you.

from Stirring

What Hitched Me Here

That I worry menopause will kill me
That when I see a plane overhead I forget myself
That when you’re not there I lose the scent
That I can’t rouse the snow from its coma
That I am not smart enough to know what it is
That I lost count
That there is a struggle going on all the goddamned time
That I can’t watch the sleet turn to filth another year
That I can’t explain
That your absence is omniverous
That I have spent my life as if listening to slippers cross a bedroom
That I have distilled the nativity down to the donkey
That to love you I must allow days to lengthen
and dig my fingernails into the night

.

haiku for tom cruise

Actually, I don’t think Tom Cruise is nuts. I just think he’s a jerk. The site is funny, though as amusing is the creative spelling out there.
Instead of besides --> be sides
Instead of jealous --> gellous
As well as to for too, your for you’re, there for their, and a range of offences against the poor little apostrophe and comma. One commenter leaves a note insulting a previous commenter on her grammar, only to call her “uncomprehensible.” Another makes an allusion to "Dr. Jackel and Mr. Hide."

There’s even a haiku on the site contributed by a reader. I don’t remember exactly but it’s something like…

Tom Cruise is nuts
And cuckoo for coco-puffs
Tom Cruise, shut the fuck up

friday

This morning I got an acceptance note from Pebble Lake Review for "Humidity" (little world, your afternoons are losing their edge...). I'm sooooo happy. On the phone at work I made up with my husband, and in the evening my son and I built our first model airplane! I mean, is this good or what? And Monday is a holiday in Germany. I think that's good, but won't be sure until it gets here.

sechszehn

Just jumped the halfway point in the poem-a-day forum. It's been good for me. Maybe I'll even do another round. If I get a good poem out of it I'll be thrilled, two and I'll implode. Here's the line-up so far:

16. Bitten (My thoughts now include the kisses of wild animals.)
15. The Telephone’s Two Eyes (The telephone’s two eyes are sobbing…)
14. Anniversary (chernobyl poem) (For twenty years no hand…)
13. If this is all (if this is all…)
12. Out of Order (Apparently, the rat poison…)
11. Cantata (As the tenor begins…)
10. Her Auburn Hair (Her five lovers brush the mud from themselves with straw…)
9. From Very High Heels (I always want more…)
8. Wink (I forgot to ask my mother what…)
7. Waiting Room (Only the sick are not heartless…)
6. Emergency Substitutions (If I don’t have 2 tbsp cognac the book says…)
5. You and Whose Army (The day was unkind…)
4. Me Jane (you bunker: me slug…)
3. Logbook (While we count casualties, the dead…)
2. Forecast (All day it showered; the rain…)
1. Early March (The snow arrives like a shipwreck…)

What is this

I got an invite from the editor of In Our Words: A Generation Defining Itself to submit some poems for consideration in this anthology. I had gotten the same invite last year and, as a natural skeptic, decided not to pursue it. Is anyone familiar with this publication? Is it good? Not so good? It claims to have published 900 writers, which raises me brown eyebrows.

All I Want

Got a rejection from Southeast Review. Too bad.
But the most important thing is I like the poems I’d sent them.
So I have them back now. The poem’s the thing.

I don’t care if I’m rejected by SE Review, but bring me a poem.
(A poem with legs, and soft haunches.)

I don’t care if I’m promoted at work, but bring me a poem.
(A poem that can stand on its head, like yogis, like water.)

I don’t care whose family we visit at Christmas, but bring me a poem.
(A poem sumptuous as blue ink on rough paper.)

I don’t care if I lose my internet access, but bring me a poem.
(A poem that eats lunch at midnight.)

I don’t care if there’s a run in my stocking, or if I add two grey hairs a day or George Bush finds oil on the moon, just bring me a poem.
(A poem that entertains like hipsway, and sings in the voice of a cricket.)

30 days

I'm doing the poem-a-day forum at the 30:30 forum of Inside the Writer's Studio. Interesting experience. When I studied language education, one focus was the language-learning "monitor," ie the superego in the head that edits what the learner says. If you have a high monitor, that means you don't speak the foreign language unless you're pretty sure what you're saying is correct. Low monitor means you just talk and talk without much concern about correctness.

I can't help but think of the monitor when trying to post a poem a day. You have to spit it out, right or wrong. Maybe you'll be incomprehensible. I need to drop my monitor and just write. I think in fact it's a pretty good start to writing altogether - just beginning and worrying later on.

Don't know yet what my poem will be today, which is day 6.
So far it's been:

5. You and Whose Army
4. Me Jane
3. Logbook
2. Forecast
1. Late Snow

A word or two

Looking at Common Ground Review's guidelines, I read this footnote on why they don't take simultaneous submissions:

*A word about simultaneous submissions: Simultaneous submissions can cause editors serious problems. For example, the editors have accepted a poem for publication (after lengthy evaluation and some negotiation), and the poet notifies them the poem has been accepted elsewhere and wishes to have it withdrawn. At this point, the editors have spent a great deal of time planning layout. (i.e. which poems should face each other on opposing pages or where the best place is for each illustration.) Poems that occupy more than one page add another layout dimension. In addition, layout involves four pages not one. Subtract one poem and either add a poem or subtract three other pages. Whichever action occurs causes the editors to have to re-evaluated the journal layout and then start over again. The content page and the biographical pages of the journal will also have to be edited.

I can understand having a choice of poems to yourself is a nice comfortable feeling, and if I were an editor, I'm sure I'd prefer it. But in the interest of the poet, I wouldn't require exclusive submissions. Especially if I have a "lengthy evaluation" period. Especially since I don't know what business I'd have doing the layout for somebody's poem before I'd informed them that I wanted their poem and waited for their confirmation. If, however, the magazine has indeed informed the poet of acceptance (as the first line seems to suggest), and the poet nevertheless pulls the poem later on, then that poet is a jerk and isn't playing fair and demanding exclusive submissions from him/her probably isn't going to save the editors from anything.

Forsythia

Took browndog out for a walk around 630. Not a soul around, not even the newspaper lady. We found the blue ball dog destroyed yesterday and kicked it down the hill a bit. Or I kicked it and lazy watched. Having a dog has left my legs in tatters. I haven’t had this much exercise in forever. Nor did I want it. Beautiful morning on the brink of rain. Fogsoft. Green slopes, and the forsythia apparently just informed that Jesus is risen - everywhere its hair standing on end.

Came back and hid the colored eggs in the garden.

what the ....

ok, i'm hardly a war monger
having been a good young quaker
and I can't stomach the president of usa
but when iran in one breath says
its pursuit of the nuclear is peaceful
and in the next says
israel must be annihilated
i do wonder why they're looking
for the guy with the big stick

Dwellings

In the trunk, the stowaway.
In the dark, the smuggled diamonds.
In the wine, bitterness.
In the wool, the manger.
In the rain, the small cold fingers.
In the mailbox, weeping.
In the iron, rust.
In the horse, the donkey.
In the cane, brown sugar.
In the mother, sons.

Rock Salt Plum

I have an interview and two poems in the new Rock Salt Plum Review.

There's also an interview with Li-Young Lee. I found it very interesting what he said about trying to downplay his poetry in conversation with his mother, and how she's had to have other people translate them from English for her. It was especially interesting because the editor, Jalina Mhyana, had asked me for a poem about my mother and I declined in fear that she might read it, afraid it would hurt her feelings. And she's more important to me than the poem.

Nice issue. Have a look. I've always admired the layout and colors and poetry there.

It's Tweed Day

Tweed is not lazy.
Tweed has the inner ache-nature of straw.
Tweed reeks of blood sausage and barley.
Tweed’s virtues are infinite and unshakable.
Tweed above all remains industrious.
Tweed is miserable, and wants to lie down among its own kind.

It's Everything Has Been Purchased By A Corporation Or Lobbyist Group Month

April is…
· Chocolate Eaters Month
· Poetry Month
· Candlelight Vigil for Eating Disorders Awareness Month
· Cesarean Awareness Month
· Cancer Control Month
· Child Abuse Prevention Month
· Sexual Assault Awareness Month
· International Guitar Month
· Mathematics Education Month
· National Humor Month
· National Welding Month
· National Smile Month
· National Pecan Month
· Facial Protection Month
· Occupational Therapy Month
· STD Awareness Month
· Women’s Eye Health and Safety Month
· Stress Awareness Month
· Alcohol Awareness Month
· Autism Awareness Month
· National Garden Month
· National Anxiety Month
· Uh-Huh Month
· Keep America Beautiful Month
· Youth Sports Safety Month

April 1 is . . . . . One Cent Day
April 2 is . . . . . National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day
April 3 is . . . . . Tweed Day and Don't Go To Work Unless It's Fun Day
April 4 is . . . . . Tell-A-Lie Day
April 5 is . . . . . Go For Broke Day
April 6 is . . . . . Sorry Charlie Day
April 7 is . . . . . No Housework Day
April 8 is . . . . . All Is Ours Day
April 9 is . . . . . Winston Churchill Day & Name Yourself Day
April 10 is . . . . Golfers Day
April 11 is . . . . Eight-Track Tape Day
April 12 is . . . . Look Up At The Sky Day
April 13 is . . . . Blame Somebody Else Day
April 14 is . . . . National Pecan Day
April 15 is . . . . Rubber Eraser Day
April 16 is . . . . National Stress Awareness Day & Eggs Benedict Day
April 17 is . . . . National Cheeseball Day
April 18 is . . . . International Jugglers Day
April 19 is . . . . Garlic Day
April 20 is . . . . Look Alike Day
April 21 is . . . . Kindergarten Day
April 22 is . . . . National Jelly Bean Day
April 23 is . . . . Read Me Day and World Laboratory Animal Day
April 24 is . . . . National Pigs In A Blanket Day
April 25 is . . . . National Zucchini Bread Day
April 26 is . . . . Richter Scale Day & National Pretzel Day
April 27 is . . . . Tell A Story Day
April 28 is . . . . Great Poetry Reading Day & Kiss-Your-Mate Day
April 29 is . . . . National Shrimp Scampi Day
April 30 is . . . . National Honesty Day

In the 100s

I find it odd that poets sometimes boast in bios that they've had "hundreds of poems in hundreds of publications." I counted the other day and I've had something like 70 poems published, and of course looking back some of them weren't very good. Even now, looking at my "finito" file, there are poems I could publish somewhere, but I'm not sending them out because they're rickety. But there are a lot of crap journals, just like there are crap poets. Not that people who have had "100s of poems in 100s of publications" are crap poets - I just don't think it's a bragging point. When I read a bio, I find it more memorable when someone says "I stick a garlic clove in each meatball before cooking" than when they get to journal #8 in the pubs list.

Anyway, had some good/bad news. A magazine accepted "For Luisa, Waiting to be Fetched." Had to tell them it was already taken. Kind of a bummer, though the journal that took it is a good one. And I had actually sent a note withdrawing the poem. They weren't irritated, and said, yes, they'd overlooked my withdrawl note.

Anyway, cool and wet here. I'm making tomato sauce. I let five or six fat garlic cloves soften in warm oil with onions, bay leaf and carrot before adding the tomatoes.

Dogtalk

To have a dog is to hurry, swish, dunk and hipsway.
To have a dog is to dally on hillsides.
To have a dog is to boogie the sparrows.
It is to inhabit the wooden house of barking.
It is slippers, mud and slobber.
To have a dog is to pull rank with the animals.
It is to be an intimate of the rain.
To have a dog is the cave, wolf and campfire.

Morpheus, in the Arms of

literary triumph

There are scads of books I've never finished, not just Ulysses. It's my right as a reader to give up. A couple weeks ago, a colleague pushed Bret Easton Ellis's Lunar Park into my hand. I was not very enthusiastic but he said I would be amazed. I was never interested in Ellis and know I know why. So what? I'm counting it among my literary triumphs to have tossed it aside.

Sorry to all his mesmerized fans.

I am reading The Twilight of American Culture, though, and nearly finished. It's interesting and insightful and depressing, though at points the writer, Morris Bermann, does start to sound a little like the self-help book writers he denigrates. How to save yourself from becoming part of the moronic herd. If you weren't already trying, it's too late now.

In other literary triumph news, these books I've managed to read all the way through two or more times:

Les Miserables
The Catcher in the Rye
Of Human Bondage
In Cold Blood
The Doors of Perception

I'd have to go through my old journals to see if there are more. But I think that's it.

slump

In a poetic slump. Just too tired, I think, with work, kids, dog, appointments, making dinner, cleaning up dinner, paying bills, insomnia, sick kids, and now the husband says he needs a small operation and will in the hospital for a few days, then out of commission for 2-3 weeks. I did my best to be sympathetic, but mostly innerly panicked about when I'd find the time to pencil in my nervous c'llaps.

Poems

I have two poems in the new DMQ Review: Postcards from Paris and Year in Milan.

One of those, Postcards, was accepted over a year and a half ago by Poet's Canvas, which then disappeared into the ether before publishing. Never heard back from the editor. A friend of mine was accepted for the same issue and also never heard a word back on why/what happened. It's another one of those cases where you can only assume something terrible has happened, when actually all you'd like to do is get pissed off.

So, be careful which ezines you submit to. Are they fly-by-nights? Do the editors stick to the publishing schedule?

My poem Stovetop won the IBPC competition this month, which was a complete surprise. Once it's up at the Web del Sol site, I'll post the link.

Otherwise, Third Coast wrote back to say they'd also take For Luisa, Waiting to be Fetched along with The Problem with Everything. So that was good news. Not sure if they'll be in the next issue or the following one.

Bellingham Review apparently rejected my poems. I got them back in an envelope last week. No rejection slip, no nothing. Just the poems in my SASE.

let me tell you how it will be

So we've had the dog for a month and the other day we get a notice from the government about the dog tax. Seems the dog owes 82 euros in dog tax for 2006. What I want to know where is the dog going to get this money. It is good to know, though, that my dog is going to receive some benefits from paying taxes, nicht wahr? I'm sure some of that money is going to go for her pension and old-age health care costs. I'm sure this isn't just some idea the innovative German government had to let them continue taxing everything in sight. Wait, to tax even the intangible. In fact the intangible more than the tangible. I'm sure that if there's a war, the German army is going to descend on Kurzroederstrasse to defend my good tax-paying dog. Because she's cute, and is all paid up for this year. So everything's good. No worries.