Junghans

After surveying my younger (than me) colleagues, I acknowledge that - as suspected - half of them do not wear wristwatches. No, they rely on their cell phones to tell the time. Nor do they use alarm clocks, instead keeping their phones on the nightstand, set for 7 with their favorite ringtone, which changes capriciously. They don’t know what their favorite ringtone is. They don’t worry about batteries running out, or contracts expiring. Their minds are free.

I, on the other hand, am attached to my wristwatch. Sometimes I sleep with it on because it is so handsome. It’s not even self-winding - I must remember to jig the little knob back and forth to wind it. It doesn’t contain any apps; it doesn’t measure the temperature; it doesn’t store phone numbers, or know where the nearest Chinese restaurant is. It doesn’t do anything but tell time. I lash it to my wrist every morning like a sail to a boat, and no wind, no tidal wave, no change of fashion will remove it.

just get me the goddamned suitcase

July comes with its beastly heat. And did you know it’s National Baked Beans Month, National Ice Cream Month, Read An Almanac Month, National Foreign Language Month, Hitchhiking Month, Cell Phone Courtesy Month, Hemochromatosis Screening Awareness Month, National Purposeful Parenting Month, Roots & Branches Month, Women’s Motorcycle Month?

Cell Phone Courtesy Month has all my support. How come some people talk even louder than normal when they’re having a private conversation (in public)? Unfortunately, I guess a lot of people can’t be expected to be courteous with their cell phones because they don’t know what courtesy is to begin with. Making you wait while they take a call for 5 minutes. Or you're buying something from THEM and they're on the phone through the whole transaction.

Here’s one I heard recently involving a petite bleached blonde of around 40: Hey Benny … yeah I’m on the subway … going by Glauburgstrasse … you coming over later? … what do you mean why … I need the suitcase … Benny you were gonna bring me the suitcase … yeah I’m leaving tomorrow, I need the suitcase … Benny you better bring it … I can’t believe this … That was the deal ... Just bring it … you bringing it? … Benny don’t screw with me … Just get me the goddamned suitcase or you’ll be sorry.

Remember phonebooths? They weren’t only for the caller’s privacy, but for the sanity of the caller’s fellow man.












thx to Outta Context for the photo.